Believing is nothing!

I always believed...that true love can do wonders!
True love can move mountains, true love can win hearts across borders.
But...is it really true?! I wonder now.....
"I will love you so much, that one day you would be compeled to love me back", i said to her once... she smiled back and said "if you really believe, maybe someday i will...i have to!"
That was the most satisfying moment for me after all that i had gone through to just be with her!
I had gone through hell...put to test by her parents to prove my worth towards her!
But proved myself, thats what i did!
It was the moment I waited for all eternity.....when she promised, that she would love me back.
A girl commiting to marry me, to be by my side...and all that while maintaining that she didn't love me....yet!
It was a moment i had waited for all eternity...when she said one night..."i think i am falling in love with you!!!"
The words came out as if covered in gold! Words that were so sweet to hear!
Words with their worth in Diamonds!!!
I can never forget that moment!
Love was the best thing ever happened to me......then.....
That was then....
Now...i face the stark reality...
A reality so harsh...it bleeds me to death!
A reality which says I am not fit enough to be by her side!
A reality which says I, was responsible for all that has happened!!!
I, who was ready to go through anything for the relationship, was responsible for its failure!!!
Maybe I was....I was responsible...
because....I believed.....
that love can win hearts......
that she will love me back one day.....
that love can win hearts across the borders....
I couldn't even win her heart!
Thats why...believing is nothing...or rather....
'Just' believing is nothing.....
Still...somewhere in the corner of my heart.....
a faint voice says....
"One day, you will fall in love with me..."

When I wont be there...

We all decide what we have to become in life, what we have to achieve and we work towards it. but have we ever thought as to what we would want to leave behind? or rather what would it be that the world would remember us for?...Many of us would want to be remembered for some great work, a great career, a big achievement maybe. But i have thought...that when i go from this world, i should be remembered for my laughter. yeah...i would be really happy if people remember me as the person who always laughed at life! I would like to be remembered as someone who smiled at all the things that life threw at! Someone who was never phased by the situation or someone who never got overawed by any problem. I would like to be remembered as a happy-go-lucky person, who always took life in a very sporting way! People should say that one should face life just like I did!!! All i would want to give to someone in life would be my laughter. Its a great feeling that I get after i make someone smile! Because even if i cant reduce a person's grieviances, atleast i would have made him happy for one moment by making him smile!
I believe that even after i am gone, someone some where will always remember me as the person who made him or her smile!
I have never been an outright serious person...maybe people have misinterpreted me as avery casual and immature person, but then that's how god has made me! And that's exactly how i am going to live.
Yes.....i want to be remembered as someone who always smiled at life....and maybe also smiled at death too! I want to live even after I am gone...in someone's laughter....still laughing and smiling as ever!

"Death smiles at everyone of us, all we can do is smile back"

"You say you dont love me, yes...its heart breaking,
but I love you from my heart, and i never expected anything;
for someday even you will, experience the same thing that i felt,
your heart will turn tide, the rock will surely melt;
i dont know if and when, this thing will surely happen,
no matter how long it takes, my trust will never dampen;
i leave it to my destiny, i leave it to my fate,
i just hope everything happens, before its too late;
coz if i dont get your love, i might not sulk or cry,
but one thing is true...
without your love I will die!"

"I would never want your love against your wishes,
although your love is what my heart really misses;
i would want you to love me day in and day out,
but only if you feel, thats what its all about;
i may sound cynical probably because i own a fear,
that when i die....
will you atleast shed one tear?"

" Ungli Bhar Ka Faasla, Par Woh Majboori Aur Hi Thi;
Saalon Baad Bhi Woh Faaslein Kam na Hue,
Majbooriyaan Meri Badhti Gayee..." - Anuj

"Flowers bloom, fragrance spreads then they die in front of you"
these words came from a girl's heart, whom i thought i always knew;
the words struck my heart at a rapid pace as soon as they were told,
they came from a heart which was in pain, who's story was untold;
i know what you feel, what you have been through,
i know the cause of your pain,
your smile gave it all, the fact that your heart was crying silent rain;
i promise i will try to see that you smile and the smile will remain forever,
LET THE FLOWERS BLOOM, LET THE FRAGRANCE SPREAD,
BUT THIS TIME THEY WONT DIE....NEVER!!!

'Ranj se khuggar hua insaan, toh khudhi mit jaata hai ranj;
mushkiley mujhpe itni padi ke aasaan ho gayee' - Galib



'Ranj khudhi mit jaaye, kya itna dard seh leta hai insaan?
mushkilon se ladte ladte kkya patthar ban jaata hai insaan??' - Anuj